Chemsex: a dangerous short cut to intimacy


"I like to smoke spliff while my boy goes down to me. It's an experience, you know … tingly, "30 years old Helen * and I have been a friend for over ten years. She is a very successful sales manager working for one of the largest technology companies in the United Kingdom. It's also a stoner ("and proud," laughs). Although we have been friends for a long time, this conversation is an unknown area. "We smoke most of the days, but sometimes we do it for sexual purposes," she told me. "In any case, it lowers the brakes, really relax in it. And I think I feel more connected with my boyfriend – partly because he's more sensitive to me. "

Last week, a new report from academics at a university college in London, along with researchers in a global drug survey, reported the news that Britons are more likely to combine drugs with sex than our colleagues in Europe and the United States. More than 22,000 people took part in the study, which found that more than 60% of British respondents had alcohol before drinking sex in the past year.

It is true that this is not revolutionary news – many of us would think that a large glass of red is an excellent aphrodisiac (hell, some would even think of a large glass of vodobull aphrodisiac, but, as Professor Adam Winstock, a psychiatrist and addiction counselor, that part of this report is a breakdown of some useless stereotypes that exist around the intersection between the sexes and [meaning all drugs, including alcohol]. It seems that everyone is obsessed with the idea that they are the only people who have "chess", gays. This is not useful, because almost everyone at one point is likely to have sex with drugs – as researchers, we need to understand how and why people do it so that we can offer the best tips for reducing harm.

And as my chat with Helen shows – even if alcohol is the most common "chem", this is certainly not the only one. In addition to cannabis (36% of British respondents linked it to gender), approximately 13% of British respondents combined cocaine sex, and 20% combined sexual intercourse with MDMA. My friend Rachel *, 28, who works in the PR, is the supporter of the latter, as she claims to be a more "transcendental experience", she says. "I had good sex at a doctor's office, it's like this whole other, deep emotional vibe, but I did it only with my partner – I never had a relationship with someone while I'm at MDMA," explains. "I do not understand that, because of which you are truly emotional, which in my opinion contributes to a sexual experience, but I do not want to transfer my soul to someone I picked up at the club, causing an increase in desire and satisfaction with a sexual encounter, but "I do not think the orgasm is the essence," says Rachel. "Learn more about the journey. I know it sounds very hippie-dippy, but if you do just a little bit with the right person, it can be great."

In a recent report, it has been found that Britons are more likely to combine drugs with sex than our colleagues in Europe and the United States (iStock)

My experiences changed wildly. Recent research suggests that about a third of women in the US, like Helen, used marijuana before sexual intercourse and that those who did this doubled more likely to have had orgasms. But personally I could not think of anything worse than smoking cannabis during sex. With experiments and errors – emphasis on the error – I found out that hemp felt a lot worrying about my heart. Once I took two pins on a shared beach in California, and I was so worried that I was getting sunny so I put the whole body (head, hands, legs, everything) into my boy's shirt. He came from the sea to find me as pressed as ET, while everyone around me happily entertained, and decided that it was best to take me home.

As Winstock points out, "it's a very bad idea to try to have sexual intercourse with all the drugs that you have never taken before, or the one that has led you to a bad response. You are already in an emotionally charged situation, without this adding. "MDMA is also not what I can imagine to try to" transcendent "munching. I do not like being in the shortest possible time, let alone when it's high, something that Winstock emphasized, more often , as people would think: "Some people become very sensitive, so the touch can strengthen … it seems who touched you and under what circumstances, but it may be unpleasant," he says.

Then there's the cocaine that I recently stopped (when I was more aware of hypocrisy that I made the line and then gave up on climate change and trafficking in human beings), but it is probably responsible for my only good chesexual experience. Along the line or two with my then-boyfriend, we had this wild, urgent and unburdened sex. As with most drugs – including alcohol – it is one of its main functions as a disinfectant, making you feel more unattractive, which can be many at the moment, but it can lead to poor decision-making. Fortunately, I was with a partner who was entrusted to me, but I had many friends who woke up with deep regret, as the combination of wine and cocaine meant that they did things they usually do not dream about. (In particular, one of his friends first tried anal sex while he was on cocaine, and at a hot moment he was not aware that she suffered, erm, tearing. In addition to the seams, she had to sit on a pillow pill for a week, which made some awkward conversations at the workplace.

As far as I am concerned, but what is happening, I have to comunicate, and the next day I woke up in my mum and felt an emotional bankruptcy – which was a little stained by a sexual experience. Was it worth it? In the backlog, with a blinding headache and a hardened nose, probably not. Cocaine is often also complicated for men who want to have sex. "When men choose which chems should be used before sexual intercourse, it's their dick," says Winstock. Viagra, crystalline met … medicines that allow them to maintain an erection longer. Compared with women, the drugs that were most rated were those that promoted sexual intimacy, emotionality and sensuality. Therefore they were in favor of drugs, such as cannabis and MDMA. "

Cocaine is a notorious killer – as 24-year-old Josh explains. "I met a girl at Tynd, and we came to this plan to hang out, we were doing cocaine and having sex. It seemed really dangerous, but somehow hot. I knew that I could not keep an erection if I took it, so I decided to get some Viagra. "In the year since Viagra was available in the United Kingdom without a prescription, more and more young men were reported. use it as a sort of sexual "insurance policy" against erection caused by a drink or a drug. "We got into coke, talked, kissed, and then I took Viagra. After about an hour I still did not work, so I took the second. And then at once, "he paused," the boom. I had this … furious erection – to the point that it was painful. I started sweating and my heart hit my chest. I had to stop everything and opened windows, but I could not cool myself. I was really panicked – I asked her to call the ambulance. I really thought I'd have a heart attack. "

Josh eventually had to come under the cold shower to cool down. "I was naked and crying in front of this girl I just met – this was the worst sexual experience in my life." Although she says he probably will not try cocaine again ("it was the fourth or fifth time I've ever been and last, ") will still keep Viagra" in any case "in his pocket.

"That makes you feel more invincible, but it can lead to poor decision making "(iStock)

Interestingly, none of the friends I am talking with would have thought about what they are doing as "chesssex". "I imagine chesexual happening in the environment of sexual parties," says Helen. Rachel adds: "There is something clinical about an expression that I do not feel what's going on with what I do, even though I think it's what I'm doing …" Perhaps for this too stimulated generation (with our broken dopamine feedback bugs loops). ) the intersection of sex and scheme offers another way to feel the type of volume that the previous generation would have received from a simpler fun. "I think for myself," says Josh, "it seemed to me that I could meet this person in double time. We met only once, but when the coca was hit, we talked all kinds of things to make them feel too embarrassed if they were open to anything else. "Helen agrees," this is the first time that I am with someone who loves to smoke, and I feel that our relationship is stronger and deeper in a much shorter time. It's not for everyone, but for the effect it has on us. "

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So it may seem that we are too poor in time (or impatient) to slow down the growth of our intimacy. But these shortcuts have a price. The prospect of having a poor experience is definitely high – for every great encounter with the chemoks that I hear, there are three others similar to Joshua, where someone panic, someone loses his erection or worse. In any case, I do not intend to participate again, but no judgment on who she likes. But Winstock says he is "cautious".

* All names have been changed.

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